Last week I experienced a senseless death of a friend that really hit home, but the reopening of this Sandra Bland case and the young lady that was slammed to the ground by police while her mother watched helplessly, is the icing on the cake.
I realize that one day I’ll have to have the talk with my daughter and I’m not talking about the birds and the bees. One day she’ll have to understand that there are things in this world that are against us and there are people in this world that are against us. And with all these factors that are predisposed to us because of the color of our skin, and what’s in between our legs, we still have to manage to be thriving “ normal” citizens in society.
Now add all of those pressures up on top of having to teach and raise little humans, and you’ll understand why being a black parent in America, especially a black mom is different and takes a beautiful soul to be one.
I’m sure Sandra Bland's mother never thought that this would be her daughters outcome after a routine traffic stop . It’s obvious she gave her “the talk” and the proper tools in life as she knew her rights and exercised them properly. However, her life was still taken away from her prematurely. In a world where she was taught everything right, unfortunately something still went wrong.
I can’t help but think that when I do have to have this talk with my daughter, that I’ll have to discuss my stories of blatant racism I’ve encountered and how to address microaggressions, in hopes that it empowers her.
I pray that she notices the salesman walk past her but goes out of his way to greet and assist the white women in a store. I pray that if she is the only POC in a classroom, that she doesn’t feel the need to be the voice for all black people. I pray that she gets people together if they ever try to touch her without her permission, whether she’s in sweats or a bodycon dress. I pray that she responds “mixed with black as hell” when people refer that she must be mixed because of her looser curl pattern. I pray that she uses her voice, and when it becomes threatening to others, that she still stands up for what she believes in and has me on speed dial if folk wanna pop off.
Until that day happens, all I can do is be transparent and use my experiences to be that much of a better black woman, that much of a better parent, and that much of a better mom and prepare her for this world.